sweet lord, how did we end up here tonight?
running your hands down my spine
(like that, exactly like that, christ)
is a one way ticket to being immortalized on a page,
and goddamn if your parents didn’t raise you better
i have a knack for not letting go
for holding on to an unlikely hope
fuck it, forever, i’m gonna be sorry.
“You must not reduce yourself to a puddle just because the person you like is afraid to swim and you are a fierce sea to them; because there will be someone who was born with love of the waves within their blood, and they will look at you with fear and respect.”—T.B. LaBerge // Things I’m Still Learning at 25
Sometimes recovery is waking up early to write in coffee shops and practicing yoga and eating lots of fruit and chocolate and sometimes it’s staying in bed all day and hiding from the world until you can stop crying. All of this is ok. What’s important is that you take care of yourself no matter what kind of day you’re having.
let me be the wallpaper that papers up your room i wanna be every button you press and all the mouths that surround you yes, i’m gonna roll around you, like a cat rolls around chrysanthemums i’m gonna kiss you like the sun browns you
devour me, if you really think you could stomach me i want every other freckle
“When I was a girl, my life was music that was always getting louder. Everything moved me. A dog following a stranger. That made me feel so much. A calendar that showed the wrong month. I could have cried over it. I did. Where the smoke from a chimney ended. How an overturned bottle rested at the edge of a table.
I spent my life learning to feel less.
Every day I felt less.
Is that growing old? Or is it something worse?
You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”—Jonathan Safran Foer, ‘Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close’
“And so we quote and quote and quote and quote scientists and authors and painters and musicians and historians, until we are disgusted by it, and then forget we can create our own words, concepts and ideas as well.”—Thoughts #122
- i started today off with an insanely good raspberry/banana/oj smoothie and i’m feelin’ pretty powerful right now. - my recent job shift has caused me to have evenings open more often than i’m used to, and i need to start making sure i fill them properly. it’s summer, so wandering and reading in parks and making sure i stay out till dark (i’m very much a child that way) works for now, but once the winter hits… i gotta fix that shit. - labor day weekend will be split between philadelphia and long island and i couldn’t be more pleased. - i’m either sleeping forever or not at all. i’m either forgetting to eat or eating everything. someone re-teach me the grays in between the black & white, yeah? - i don’t think i’ll ever stop worrying about my dad. - my first ever bachelorette party was an entertaining adventure. i ate a lot of pizza and played with sheep and was driven around in a giant pink hummer limo; doesn’t that scream success? - i stopped compulsively checking tumblr so often. it means that when i do read it, i like a lot of your old shit (HI FRIENDS SRY ABOUT THAT) but its nice to give myself some non-screen time throughout the day. - i wish i could hug all my friends, all the time. - i didn’t mean to start re-watching gilmore girls, but… whoops. - i really should stop flirting with boys on the west coast. maybe try to keep it in my own time zone. though that hasn’t been the best, either… preferably the tri-state area? really, i gotta work on this.
“How dare you tell me to calm down
To mute myself
To make myself less
I am a force of fucking nature
I am the storm that shakes your house at night
And I will not stifle myself
To let you sleep soundly”—Unknown